There’s a right thing in a wrong way, but never a wrong thing in the right way.

We may say we desire God’s will but do we live that desire right? Does our actions speak of it? At some point of our short lives, we know that some of our desires are not right. It’s impossible for the wrong to be going along God’s way. We justify it according to what we feel and what we know without understanding.That’s why God is breaking our precious self from the idol of our hearts. When He breaks, it means that He will create something new. And so, Christ will be the only one precious to us. We sometimes do the right thing in a wrong way, that’s what makes us human. He’s the only one who always does the right thing at the right way. How blessed are we to be lead in the right way because we really can’t!

When I gain knowledge, it doesn’t mean I already know enough.

It’s a proof I don’t know enough yet.

When I gain wisdom, it’s not because I experienced failures, disappointments and heartbreaks.

Wisdom is given not earned. And there is such knowledge, wisdom and love that is unfathomable, I live to experience those.

A boy plays for fun. When he had enough, he’ll go away.
A man stays, even if it’s not fun anymore
because he knows God has given him more than enough.
A girl stays because she’s having fun. She’ll never have enough.
A woman plays even if it’s not for fun
because she knows God has given her more than enough.

I got the news this morning that the head Pastor’s wife in our church in the Philippines was admitted to the hospital (she has been battling with cancer, not just in one organ for some years now..) I love that woman, like my grandmother. On the way home, I felt something different. I know it’s just a feeling but I can’t explain it. I feel asleep in the car, and then I just woke up to feel something I haven’t felt before. It’s death. With the fast moving cars, a large truck beside us, I can’t believe myself to be thinking I could die at that moment. I was surprised at myself. I really saw our vulnerability to death. I know God will protect us, but that moment was so whew! I said, Lord if you want me home, then I know you have already prepared me. And then my eyes closed and fell asleep again. So weird when I got home, I was so tired (it was just this afternoon, really..). I did the same work yesterday but I felt so drained. 10 minutes ago, I read in my news feed about what happened to her. She went home. It was around 10pm in the Philippines.. so it was around 5 pm here.. that was the same time I was feeling different! Thinking about it, I prayed for her strength and recovery but I’m much amazed of how blessed it is to meet a person in this earth who has heaven as her home. :’) Her race is finished, Christ is glorified.

Precious in the sight of the Lord the death of His saints! Psalm 116:15

When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be!

I was thinking of something to share, so I looked up on my journal. I  chose to share a written entry on November 25th, 2011. I have revised it a bit.

Love is following God.

If  you love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)

I really want to love and desire God, deeper everyday. I want to live for the living God who gave me life through His Son’s life. Think about that, “the living God”. I am so amazed of God’s work, that I can see myself because of His light. I saw my pride and other sins that I needed to confess. To ask real, sincere forgiveness. The things I ought to do, I do not and the things I ought not to do, I do.  (See Romans 7:15) But thank God, His power is made perfect in weakness. I pray that I would continue in learning what God wants me to learn and apply in my life, it is genuine love. I ask God for compassion, just like what the Lord felt when he was walking on this earth. I feel so alive and free. Yes, just like the old hymns, Jesus is all the world to me.

Alpha and Omega Lord, there is none like you.

“Don’t be afraid,” Jesus said.

“Take courage. I am here!”

Then Peter called to him,

“Lord if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on water.”

“Yes, come.” Jesus said.

Matthew 14:22-26

It’s so beautiful to think you are in Peter’s place too. The moment that Jesus tell you to come. :’)

 I’m good at forgetting. Maybe not at all. It’s just a defense mechanism I’m telling that to myself. I tend to have the feeling of reliving in a frozen part of my life, the past. There are memories that I only regain when I hear certain music. There are certain songs that makes me remember the smell,the objects I’ve seen again, the people who I am with , feelings I felt before, even the exact thing I was doing. Vivid memories like lucid dreams. But just memories. It was already captured behind the boundary of time. If we have the power to run back to the past or jump forward to the future, we will never have enough. I was wondering why did God created three different timeline.

The word wondering is in three terms:

To think or speculate curiously. To be filled with admiration or amazement or awe. To doubt.This is the form of the first term, as I am writing this.  The second term is the reason for the first term. The third is the most interesting. It is the effect. I doubt. I doubt man’s idea of not believing in higher power. The highest one.The highest power that breathed life to the lifeless dust, the breath of  another flesh in a womb.The power to create an endless space, a billion stars, a countless rain, an invisible wind and a human soul according to His likeness.

If we are bounded by time, then there is something out of that boundary. It’s just like when man thought that the earth is its own universe when there is a million light years of distance outside,  from earth to another star. There is a power to live outside time, eternity. We cannot see eternity from the place we are standing but it’s so amazing that it is possible through reading a book. It only takes one book to guide you there. The book that contains the words that turn the world upside down.  It will only take one sentence for you to clearly hear the One who is calling you. It will only take one word for you to know Him, “Come”. Reading that book should be equal to living it. It’s easy to say but the hardest thing to do, but it’s not impossible we just have to make it lifelong goal.

Which comes first? Fear God or Love God?
When I knew God, I came to love Him. When I knew God, I came to fear Him.
What does it mean to fear God? Is it not doing bad things but instead doing good?

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. Ecclesiastes 12:13

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. John 14:15

Or do they come amazingly at the same time?

The flood washed away home and mill, all the poor man had in the world. But as he stood on the scene of his loss, after the water has subsided, brokenhearted and discouraged, he saw something shining in the waters which had washed bare. “It looks like gold”, he said.It was gold. The flood that which had beggared him made him rich.

Henry Clay Trumbull

I read this story this morning again from my journal. I first read it more than a month ago. As I read the past pages of my life, I was surprised by myself. I didn’t know I already thought of this and that. Did this and that. Writing keeps me remembering and forgetting at the same time. I forget the things I write but I remember when I read. This story made me smile and hit me. I re-write quotes like these in my journal. God’s children are like that man. We loose things dear to us just to find something better. This story is a beautiful example of the kingdom of heaven.